What Is Gratitude?
I love that the word gratitude has part of the word attitude in it. It’s so fitting. Merriam Webster dictionary technically defines gratitude as “a state of being grateful”. Being in a state of gratefulness can really change your perspective and even be contagious. When applied to your marriage, having gratitude for each other can bring joy and positivity into your marriage.
I was really inspired to make this conscious effort to be more thankful because I personally lost sight of gratitude. I got so caught up in the busyness and stress of life, that my unthankfulness made me irritable and even changed my perspective of how my husband interacted with me. I lost my creativity, my ability to laugh at small things and find joy in tasks that I once enjoyed.
As soon as I shifted my mind into that state of gratefulness, my perspective changed. The depression and anxiety lifted. I had more energy and excitement to do the things I enjoy and my husband noticed my change of outlook. In turn, he responded to me differently and was no longer distant.
Here’s How I Did It
With all of the mindfulness techniques out there, this is a broader way to bring mindfulness into your marriage. I focused on all of the past kind things my husband said and did for me. Then I thought about why was thankful for each of those kind actions. When my husband did a kind or loving gesture, while it was happening, I truly focused on it. I recognized it and then in that same moment, thought about why I was thankful.
Instead of brushing off the kind action he did, I was smiling ear to ear. I noticed how living in gratitude changed the way I interacted with my spouse and even brought up the intimacy levels in our marriage.
Here’s How Easy It Is For You To Do It
We’re challenging you to live a life of thankfulness with your spouse in a fun and easy (even manageable way!).
Sometimes your spouse does something nice but then the day goes by and you not only forget the kind gesture, but you also lose that moment of thankfulness. We’re breaking it down into a simple and challenge for you and your spouse. Throughout the month (or if a month sounds daunting, try a week), simply write down all of the kind things and words your husband or wife does for you and why you’re thankful for that action. Have them do the same. Put it in a jar in a high traffic part of the house so it’s on both of your minds. Place each of those thankful notes into it.
At the end of the month, make a date night out of it with a nice dinner and a glass of wine and take turns pulling out the paper and reading it to each other. You’ll be surprised at what your spouse writes down. Get ready for a fun night of getting to know what your spouse appreciates. Get ready for a month of gratitude that will transform your marriage.
- Download and print this PDF, cut on the dotted lines and place it on your refrigerator as a visual reminder to write down all of the kind words or actions.
- Record loving actions and words that happen throughout the day. Each tear-away has a place to write the action and a place to write a short reason why you’re thankful.
- Fold and place in the jar.
- Print off more sheets if need be.
- On the last night of the month (or week if you’re doing the shorter time frame), take turns pulling out each slip of paper and reading it out loud. It’s okay if you read your own or you read what your spouse wrote. It’s fun both ways to remember that moment or read about a moment you didn’t expect.
Remember! This is not a competition but a daily reminder that your are loved and respected and to love and respect. We hope living a life of gratitude becomes an easy, everyday habit for your marriage.
Do you struggle with gratitude in your marriage? Have you found ways to overcome unthankfulness? Have any questions? We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a comment!