“Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” couldn’t be a truer cultural statement, especially when it comes to communication and meeting each others expectations. According to one of my favorite marriage books, Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, men thrive in a marriage when they feel respected and women thrive when they feel loved.
My husband and I have applied this theory to our own marriage and it’s helped us through the good, bad, and ugly. Here’s a list of practical ideas that you can apply to your relationship with your husband to help make your marriage flourish:
- Engage in conversation with him by being responsive with more than an “uh-huh” or “uh-uh”, open body language, and eye contact.
- Never threaten him with divorce.
- Take initiative and try to be the first to apologize, no matter how hard it is.
- Don’t nag, even if you think he’s ignoring you.
- Remind him often of how proud of him you are.
- Ask him what his pet peeves are and try your hardest not to do them.
- Pick your battles. There may be some issues not worth fighting over but there may also be touchy topics that leave you feeling unloved that are worth talking about.
- Don’t keep count of his missteps.
- Encourage him during his lows AND highs.
- Don’t start your arguments with “you…”. Leave accusations out of your fights.
- Speak positively about your husband when you’re in public, with your family, or with your friends.
- Be aware of the tone of your voice when you’re speaking to him, especially in arguments.
- Support him when he disciplines the kids.
- Be intentional with how you touch him.
- Don’t interrupt!
- Be quick to show gratitude.
- Keep your commitments. If you say you’ll do something, follow through!
- Not everything has to be equal. Drop the tit-for-tat attitude and offer to help instead.
- Never name call or use insulting words!
- Don’t be a dream crusher! Let your husband have a hobby. If he comes up with an idea, be open to it!
- Talk about what you need, rather than making your husband guess.
- Don’t share anything about your husband he wouldn’t want you to share outside your marriage.
- Dress to impress. Men are visual and a lot of husbands feel special when their wives dress up for them.
- Value his opinions, even if you don’t agree with him.
- Emotionally engage with him.
- Give him some space. Men often need to decompress after a long day.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Men love fixing things and helps them feel accomplished.
- Think before you speak, especially if tensions are high.
- Don’t constantly deny or critique him when it comes to the “bedroom”.
- Make it a priority to kiss, hug, and ask him how his day was when he comes home or you come home.
* We love sharing what works in our marriage but in no way are we marriage counselors. These are great ideas to make your husband feel respected, but we also understand every relationship is different. If you feel like you’re unsafe or need more help in your relationship with your spouse, please seek professional counseling.
Do you have any other great advice about how you respect your husband? We’d love you to share them with our readers so comment below!