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Why you Forgot about Date Night

One thing I keep hearing from friends and family is that they don’t have enough time to go on a date night with their significant other or they meant to but forgot. Why is it so easy to write off some of the most potentially rewarding memories of your relationship?

We all get busy; that’s just a part of life these days. Not that I completely agree with it myself, but I fall victim to it just as much as anyone else. A date night on top of a full work day, mixed in with possibly kids, volunteering, and other commitments can feel like it has no place in the week. Then the weekend comes and it’s time for chores, friends, and more commitments. It’s a vicious cycle, but then again no one ever said life was easy. This might seem like a bit of a downer up to this point. I’m with you 100%, but do we pay attention to whispers or war cries?

Date night is meant to be a time for communication, connection, honesty, and possibly some vulnerability. As human beings we crave the company of each other, especially those we love and care for. What might happen if we all decided to take the time to shut off the TV, skip the gym for one night, and spend some pure, unadulterated, quality time with your significant other once a week? You’ll never know unless you try. Plan date night once a week, put maximum effort into it, and see what it does for your relationship. You might find your relationship gets more intimate; you might find you actually have time to talk through some lingering issues; you even might just have more fun than before.

What might happen if we all decided to take the time to shut off the TV, skip the gym for one night, and spend some pure, unadulterated, quality time with your significant other once a week?


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  1. It’s kids for us. We love our son (11 months!) and we are thankful to know the joys of having him, but along with joy comes incredible, life altering exhaustion. That’s coupled with everything you mentioned about not having enough time to do things in the first place. There’s that cliche sitcom idea that kids can save a marriage, but that’s of course not true. If anything kids put more strain on a marriage than anything, so if you’re not strong as a couple, then kids aren’t going to help. That’s why date nights are important, but actually going on one can be daunting. My wife and I have upped our non-existent date nights to one a month and we hope to bump that up even more once we find a reliable babysitter we trust. It’s effort, but worth it! At the same time, sometimes a date night relaxing at home with a nice dinner after a week of utter exhaustion hits the spot too! 😜

    • Eric says

      Thanks for your honesty on this topic. It’s really appreciated and I’m sure others can relate. My wife and I don’t have children yet but realize that life will change up quite a bit. What would be your biggest recommendation for those aspiring parents out there in regards to date night?

      • My biggest recommendations for aspiring parents are:

        1) Don’t stress about the small stuff. No one knows what they are doing the first time around and that’s normal. Learn as you go and focus on the experience rather than the anxiety when possible.

        2) Find a babysitter ahead of time (like before you even have a kid if possible). Find someone you know and trust or someone recommended to you or someone you have vetted personally that can watch your child some evenings or even a couple of hours during the day. That was our biggest mistake. We didn’t have any help at first because our families weren’t immediately nearby and we didn’t take the time to find someone to help us out until months went by.

        3) Don’t get totally absorbed by your child. You and your spouse were complete individuals prior to having a child, so it’s important to maintain that sense of self, while simultaneously understanding that your life has indeed changed. That means doing as you said and making time for that date night. When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of your child as well. That’s some advice we had to give ourselves when sleep training for example. It sucks to hear your child cry, but if they never learn to sleep, you’ll also never sleep, which just means everyone is grumpy/angry during the day. That isn’t good for anyone.

        That’s my way simplified advice. ha!

      • Eric says

        Thanks! those are some great points. We will definitely keep those in mind as we get closer to having children.

  2. We are really blessed to have my in-laws nearby and ready and willing to watch our kids for date nights. But I know we have it good and not everyone has the ability to get a sitter regularly. I would recommend working something out with your friends who have kids, watch their kids so they can have a date night, then they watch your kids so you can have a date night. Or try an afternoon date. We have also scheduled a “date night in” when we needed to connect. After the kids went to bed we brought out a board game and wine, you do what you can. I am totally with you that making the effort to have date nights and connect with your spouse is so important.

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