So you just got hitched and you are living your happily ever after. End of story, right? You might be surprised to find that there is more you could be doing to build that sturdy foundation. Don’t get me wrong, the first few months of a marriage are truly special. They are a formative time to grow, to learn, and to go through all the new experiences a married couple does. However, this is not the time for slacking. You may be overjoyed that the wedding is finally over and you can stop planning for once in months, but don’t be fooled. This is a time to be building rhythms into your relationship that will help establish your relationship on the love you and your boo already share. I’ve never been one to use math to explain why setting aside focused time with your spouse is so important, but we’re all about bringing new and fresh things to this little blog of ours and I’ll be damned if we don’t try.
We’ve surmised a simple formula as to why a date night is crucial to relationship health and here is it: Time + Truth = Trust. These are the three T’s that give you all the motivation and explanation you need to get out that calendar and set a date night each week.
Time is the finite currency we all have and often forget we’re spending constantly. As you read this post you are spending your time learning more about your relationship and the things you can do to build and strengthen it. If you budget out some time each week to be with your honey, you’re sure to see intimacy build between you and your spouse.
Being honest, humble, and intimate with your spouse again and again helps to build a lasting relationship that can weather the harshest of storms. Most can agree that lack of honesty in anything creates confusion and distrust of the source. While you developed your fledgling relationship during pre-marriage, you most likely tried to get to know the real person you were dating. If we all agree that life is all about change, then building truth into a daily – at the very least weekly – activity with your spouse helps you adapt to your living and breathing relationship. Truth is such a simple thing that it gets overlooked, giving it significance in your time with your spouse pays out dividends every time.
This is the payoff in putting time and truth together. You get increased trust with your spouse. Trust doesn’t always scream excitement but the ability to be vulnerable and honest with your spouse without fear is what a good relationship looks like. When you are newly married, all the planets are aligned and nothing can take you away from the overwhelming feeling of love. However, when you stop working on your relationship, then atrophy can set in, which then opens the door for conflict and anger. Trust doesn’t look glamorous at first but it becomes the cornerstone of your relationship.
So why all this esoteric talk about the relationship of time, truth and trust? Well, we’re basically saying get into the habit of weekly date nights.