All posts filed under: Resources

8 Ways to Prevent Long Commutes from Ruining Your Marriage

8 Ways to Prevent Long Commutes from Ruining Your Marriage

Chances of divorce and infidelity can happen when one or both spouses are commuting long distances. Based on a 10 year study in Sweden,  couples that have commutes 45 minutes or more have an increased chance of divorce by 40%. Not only are there these statics, but there are an overwhelming amount of infographs on Pinterest and headlines on popular sites that read “Couples with Long Commutes are More Likely to Divorce ” and “The Rise of the Super Commuter and the Fall of the Marriage”. It’s enough to make any commuting couple, with a healthy or strained marriage, fear for their relationship. We’ve been in a celebration mood for the last couple months, partly because of my husband’s successful completion of his MBA and partially because he had a job as soon as the diploma was in hand. However, a reality has recently set in on the arrival of his dream job. He commutes an hour to work and an hour back home. Sometimes more depending on traffic. Plus business trips. Uh oh. More …

Tonight's Better Togehter Top Ten Posts

Our Top Ten 2016 Posts for Marriage Resources and Date Ideas

The month of May marks our one year anniversary for our blog. We’ve made it! We’ve gotten through our first year and we’re reflecting on how amazing of a journey it’s been so far. We can’t believe how fast this year has flown by, how many incredible people who we’ve connected with, all of the adventures we’ve been on and the community that’s grown around this blog. In one year, we have an amazing community of 2,000 readers, we’ve written 57 posts, taken 5,208 photos and have spent countless hours planning, researching and learning. A very big thank you to all of our readers, commenters and new friends we met during this process. So in celebration of our one year blogiversary, here’s a round up of the top ten articles that became everyone’s favorite. If you’re not a weekly reader or if this is your first time here, this is a great way to get to know us. We invite you read and join the community. 1. 50 Questions to Really Get to Know Your Spouse …

10 ways to have a great relationship with your mother-in-law

How to Have a Great Relationship with Your Mother-In-Law

Mother-in-laws. A combination of words that can strike fear, anxiety or even anger in a marriage. In the average household, the mother-in-law can be seen as the equivalent to a Disney princess stepmother. Why Disney never capitalized on mother-in-law villains beats me. But while we all smirk at the stereotypical mother-in-law figure that has been painted by culture and media, we also need to be the change to restore those stereotypes, the family unit and even our marriage. My mother-in-law and I have a great relationship. We even call each other just to talk. Gasp! I know. This is almost unheard of but at the same time, she and I have worked very hard to develop a healthy relationship. That’s why I want to share with you what I’ve learned interacting with my mother-in-law as well as watching my mother and mother-in-law deal with their mother-in-laws. Even if you’re in a situation where you don’t think your mother-in-law will want to reciprocate the work in restoring the relationship, the change has to start somewhere. Might …

Attitude of gratitude marriage challenge

The Attitude of Gratitude Marriage Challenge

What Is Gratitude? I love that the word gratitude has part of the word attitude in it. It’s so fitting. Merriam Webster dictionary technically defines gratitude as “a state of being grateful”. Being in a state of gratefulness can really change your perspective and even be contagious. When applied to your marriage, having gratitude for each other can bring joy and positivity into your marriage. I was really inspired to make this conscious effort to be more thankful because I personally lost sight of gratitude. I got so caught up in the busyness and stress of life, that my unthankfulness made me irritable and even changed my perspective of how my husband interacted with me. I lost my creativity, my ability to laugh at small things and find joy in tasks that I once enjoyed. As soon as I shifted my mind into that state of gratefulness, my perspective changed. The depression and anxiety lifted. I had more energy and excitement to do the things I enjoy and my husband noticed my change of outlook. …

10 Ways to Cope with Busy Schedules in Marriage

10 Ways to Cope with Busy Schedules in Marriage

We know from experience how hectic and busy schedules can not only put a strain on your physical and emotional state, but it can also stress your marriage and your partner. My husband is a full time MBA student who also works part time in varying internships. I have a full time job. On top of that, we are bloggers (obviously!) and volunteer regularly at our local church. We’ve learned a lot about how to organize our days to better optimize our time spent together. Here’s how we do it: 1. Make Time for Each Other Being intentional with each other on a busy schedule is the key to a healthy relationship during time of extreme stress and busy schedules. Being intentional with your actual time is part of that as well. As weird and Type A as it sounds, looking at your schedules and finding gaps of free time can open the doors to quality time spent together. Remember, you’re not roommates, you’re married! For example, my husband goes to school at night. I …

How to place a successful anniversary

5 Ways to Plan a Successful Anniversary

It’s that time of year again, when you and your honey are preparing to celebrate another year of wedded bliss, or if you are dating, another year of happy partnership. These events should always be memorable and special. However, it seems that this may become a hard event to plan when you are in the middle of the thing we all must tolerate, life. We feel the stress and anxiety that accompanies life as much as the next couple. Here are a few things that have helped us plan successful and relaxing anniversaries so far in our journey together. 1. Plan Ahead This may seem obvious but it is a must with any event. Set a reminder for yourself a month (or more if you’re thinking of traveling) in advance so you can actually have a moment to think about what you’d like to do. By planning ahead, you will circumvent one of the biggest things that creates distaste for anniversaries: stress. No one likes it and we are all combating it in our daily …

50 Questions to Really Get to Know Your Spouse

50 Questions to Really Get to Know Your Spouse

Maybe you’ve been married for a while and the conversation has run dry. Maybe you’re newly married or engaged and want to know your partner at a deeper level. Or maybe you two are so busy and want to have deep conversations but don’t know where to start or have the time to think up thought provoking questions. Whatever stage your marriage is in, we have come up with 50 fun and thought provoking questions to ask each other on date night. Find a quite place, get comfy, light some candles, follow the instructions below and let the conversation begin!     Instructions: Download the PDF! Print, cut, fold each question and place them in the bowl, times two (one bowl with the 50 questions for you and one for your partner). Take turns pulling questions from your bowls and answering them. Keep in mind that these are great conversation starters. Try not to answer with one or two words and elaborate on your answers. If you have less time or 50 questions seems a …

Dangers of Expectation and How to Enjoy Your Valentines Day

Dangers of Expectation: 8 Ways to Actually Enjoy Your Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is an interesting holiday. It’s a holiday that doesn’t have a consistent fan base like Christmas or Halloween. You either hate it or love it. You can fear and loathe it or have a great expectation from past experiences or future dreams. You have an exact idea for how the night is going to go and so does your spouse or date. Due to different brains and weird circumstances that happen, your V Day can turn into D Day. Here’s how expectations work: you believe someone will act in a certain behavior. They are unaware. They do something different. You are disappointed, resentful or have regret towards your significant other. When putting it in the simplest terms, expectations become something silly, but we all have them anyway. Me and Valentine’s Day go way back. There have been times where I was a Valentine’s nut and other periods of time that I completely rebuked the day as a holiday. One guy I dated always made a grand and over-the-top effort while another guy took …

6 Valuable Things I Learned in my First Year of Marriage (from the guys perspective)

6 Valuable Lessons I Learned in the First Year of Marriage (from the Man’s Perspective)

The following points illustrate things that I have learned through my first year of marriage as a husband. These are not necessarily words to live but merely lessons that my wife and I are hoping will be valuable to our wonderful readers out there. I have heard, like most men have, the age old proverb, “happy wife, happy life”. While that is generally a fair piece of advice that was communicated to me on my wedding day, I couldn’t help but wonder “how do I go about that in the best way?!?!” So this is a compilation of my knowledge around that very question. 1. Pay Attention Self-admittedly I am still working on this particular point, but it should be said. As a guy, I tend to get laser focused on one thing at a time and my wife is able to juggle ten thoughts at once. You can see where conflict can come into play. One of the things I have noticed is that while I am never able to multitask effectively, making sure …

How to Survive the In-Laws

For all the married couples out there that do not necessarily see eye to eye with their respective father or mother-in-law, this is a post that we have learned from our past and present experiences with our in-laws. To give a little background on a sometimes touchy subject for most couple, my wife’s parents came out to visit us for about two weeks. As previously stated, we don’t necessarily see eye to eye on everything so my wife and I started writing down a list of the things we learned to help keep our sanity while maintaining a strong marriage the next time we are graced with presence. 1.  Remember you are a team This is a preparation step for when you are planning the sequence of events upon your in-laws arrival and it might be the most important. The first thing to remember is that you are a team by having a conversation before they arrive and agreeing that you and your spouse are united and support each other no matter what. This is …

7 Valuable Lessons I Learned in the First Year of Marriage (from the Woman’s Perspective)

This is a round up of the top 7 things I’ve learned from marriage that weren’t always in the marriage books or past blogs I’ve read but are easy to implement into your daily life. This is not a general list but is written from the woman’s perspective. These are lessons I’ve learned as a woman, but there may be some sweet morsels in here too for the men out there. 1. The honeymoon stage doesn’t have to end. Towards the end of year one of marriage, I actually got this question more than I can count from my new newly wed friends: “When did the honeymoon stage end for you?” My reply? It doesn’t have to end. I’m not saying that your marriage will be bliss for the rest of your life but what I am saying is the honeymoon stage doesn’t have to have a shelf life of 6 months or a year. My husband and I approach the honeymoon stage as a mindset, not a state of mind. The definition of a …

3 Ways to Know When You're Ready to Date

Real Talk: Is it the Right Time to Start Dating?

The other night, we were celebrating the recent graduation of one of our friends and as usual, an interesting conversation was sparked as we began discussing his future plans. With his whole life ahead of him, fresh vision for what the future could hold and the excitement of a new career on the horizons, naturally the life questions started coming up in conversation. Any lovely ladies on the horizon? Thinking about dating anytime soon? The typical, fun questions we love to ask. But then the table got turned from us being the interviews to the interviewees. How did you guys meet? When did you know it was the right time to start dating? Great question, as that was a question I often asked myself before I met my husband. The conversation was so good and as I reflected back on the questions we answered, I had to share with you all. So for all of you out there who want to start dating, here is a run down of some things we learned about ourselves …